Hey

I miss you bro

Rot

Rotting into the sea of loneliness I feel empty.. can't complain I brought myself here.. why's it hurt so bad? Guess cause I care too much.. Should be happy.. I'm not.. I told her once if your happy I'm happy.. will that promise be true?? I pray so.. I can't break every promise I made her... Fuck I feel like a ass... Trying not to reach for the pack with only two more smokes left... so tempting..

So todays my dad's Birthday.. Happy Birthday dad... I miss you so much.. I wonder what would been like if you where here.. would I be a stuck up child or the country retard I am today?? Why did God take you when I was so young.. would of been amazing to know you.. Hope you ain't to disappointed in me.. I'm not the best kid I could be.. Randy is a good father-figure... I truly have learned a lot from him.. Still miss you though.. When I think of you I think of Black Tide's Into the Sky.. I'm here because of you.. Thank you.. I can't wait to see you one day.. Hopefully I won't cry too much.. I'm getting that tattoo of the Celtic cross with your name and Grammy and Dada's names also... It's all for yall.. Mainly for you dad.. so I will never forget you.. I love you..........

War

Well found out some news today... She's moved on.. I feel a slight happiness for her.. no sense being stuck over someone.. keep moving don't quit.. She deserves it.. now for me to move on.. easier said than done when this girl meant the world to me.. my fault for letting emotions rule my life.. never again.. but now my emotions are at war.. my left eye is trying to cry yet my right is bone dry... I don't understand.. whatever.. Happiness needs to hurry it's sweet ass into my life lol. I can't control what happens in my life.. anyway need things to do.. sitting in the house thinking to myself drives me insane.. stupid song stays in my head.. i need a job a truck and a house.. hell a tattoo wouldn't hurt.. a puppy would be amazing right now.. God I hope she finds a great guy.. just hope she doesn't forget me.. anyway enough sad talk.. Stay positive.. ha thats going to be a challenge... CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!!

3 night's

It's been the third night this week I've dreamt about her.. wondering when it will finally end... I mean it's not like I hate her or anything it's the complete opposite.. it's just I don't think it will work.. we've tried sooo many time and most of the times it's been my fault so it's me who's giving up, breaking my promises and letting her down.. she deserves better than me and I stand behind that... I'm just a kid finishing high school... no job... living off my dad's SS money... I stay confused and let my anger and emotions control my decisions... no one can fix me so don't try... I just pray she finds that special someone that is nothing like me and can make her life beautiful... as far as these dreams i'll deal with them deal with the guilt of letting her go but maybe for the best... eh i dont know what's for the best anymore.. I'm Sorry...

Sunday

Well another Sunday... been at my stepbrothers watching football all day good to spend time with him. I really need the time with my family to clear my head.. My team (Falcons) lost by 4 points so no superbowl for them this year.. but thats okay they did a hell of a job.. anyway just bought Dante's Inferno gonna play some then go to bed.. more job looking tomorrow.. i really need one.. well hope yall had a great Sunday.. See ya..

Quick one..

Just updating quickly how my night went.. heading to town with my stepdad hopefully have some fun..

ok well sleep yeah I slept.. dreams on the other hand... I dreamed of her again... and Hungry (my dog that has recently been put down).. soo put two and two together u see that my dream was of the happiest time in my life... but then you wake up to the hell your living now.. every song is just depressing me.. actually feel like crying for once in god knows when.. whatever..

anyway got to go see ya peeps later..

Home at last

So I just got back from family dinner.. was great going to be spending some time with my stepbrother this weekend. I believe I'll enjoy that.

Soo my temper today has been weirdly bad I dont know why but I'm calming down now..

hmmm... Girls... they confuse me..

well let's see not much on me at this time just tired and wondering what tomorrow is going to hold.. I believe I'll play some Ninja Guiden 2..

hope yall are doing good if anyone needs to talk comment I'm always listening